what would you want to do if there were no practical limitations? i've been thinking about that lately. it will be interesting to see if any of them are actually possible some day. anyway, the three i've currently got are:

1. start a private high school (duh). ideally with a nice robust scholarship system so that it's accessible to all students with the motivation.

2. write (maybe even produce) real genius 2. come on, it's time.

3. be an extra in one of those big crowd-cheering scenes. i remembered i've wanted this today when sal and i were watching apollo 13 (one of sal's favorite movies, and starting to become one of mine, the more we watch it)-- it's the scene when lovell comes on the radio after the extra-long post-splashdown blackout and everyone in mission control just goes nuts. there's also one in uhf as well. they always make me smile.

anything else? maybe i should add "raise two well-adjusted, functional, intelligent children," though i'm iffy on it just because the whole child-having is far from decided. if i were to decide to have kids, i'd add it, probably bumped up to number 1. maybe "write a female-led superhero comic"? hm, i'll have to think about this some more. you guys have any for yourselves?

okay, i know several of youalls are going to be in LA next weekend. should we plan on meeting up somewhere in pasadena on saturday? my suggestion would be somewhere with booze and appetizers (like yardhouse, even though i dont think they have happy hour on saturdays), maybe around 3:30 or 4? we can head back to the house after that and take over 1.5 or something. any suggestions? questions? comments?

i think i'm having an existential crisis. at least i think thats what i'd call what i think i'm having. september is coming, people are very sick, things are changing. i'm afraid to die. and suddenly i realize that if i were to die next year, this is not quite the life i'd want to have lived. i dont think im in danger, health-wise. but i dont want to ever have regrets, and the chances of "oh, we'll do this sometime" becoming "it's too late to do that" are high in the long term. i know i don't want to be a scientist much longer. and i know that while i'm working on my phd i do not want to be chained to my bench. i want to do something fun every week, and i want to have new experiences as often as i can. i'm often scared to travel, and i find it an effort to find interesting things to do when i'm in strange places. but i want to change that. i think im definitely growing-- the last time i had a crisis like this i was basically paralyzed. yay for proactivity for once!

(lists updated occasionally throughout the day)

things to do, or to contemplate doing
studying programming or mechanical engineering
getting some clue what's going on with quantum and string theory
developing or finding a religion that works for me (just found this. maybe uu is right for me ;)
cook! i'm thinking of a greek feast sometime soon if anyone's interested (greek cheese pie, kabobs on the grill....?)
reproduce? (this one's very back and forth for both me and sal. im definitely not ready now, since im REALLY not ready to share sal's attention with anyone! but some days child-having sounds rewarding and others it seems like a painful, difficult roadblock to anything else i'd want to do)
tutor underpriviledged kids whose parents cant afford to buy them SAT scores
get a teaching degree
volunteer/work at planned parenthood
read lots of books and write about them (or talk with people... anyone up for an online book group?)
dance again! maybe try modern if its at more convenient times than ballet.
take walks and hikes, maybe get a bike?

places to visit (from easiest to most difficult):
colorado (easiest because the mirna keystone meeting is in colorado next year, and i can easily turn that into a vacation with skiing and visiting laura and stuff)
arizona, new mexico, texas (i want to go to that movie theater kern mentioned!)
hawaii (maui, mostly-- this is already in early planning stages, since it was my impulse a couple days ago and i havent managed to let go of the idea yet)
new england (boston, providence, williamsburg, maine? washington dc?)
disneyworld (never been! how is that possible?)
alaska (could easily be a road trip-- seattle, british columbia, anchorage, all the way up to mt mckinley)
greece and italy (ive always wanted to see greece, and id love to visit the vatican as well, dunno why since im not catholic, it just sounds really cool)
sweden (our swedish postoc who just got a new job said we must visit when she moves back there and she'll show us around)
to see the olympics in person (can't decide winter or summer though)
tibet? dunno, sounds interesting though. also maybe anywhere in japan that isnt tokyo.
jerusalem (most difficult not financially, but id prefer not to be shot at on vacation, i think)
austria (duh, as ricky points out in comments... i'll even know someone there who speaks the language! bonus!)

things to stop doing
obsessing about my complexion. in the end, who really gives a crap about my acne?
worrying about my weight. i'll eat what tastes good, but try not to overdo it, and i'll exercise and eat veggies because it feels good.
letting my job be my identity. there's ever so much more to me than that! science is just my mild-mannered alter ego!

okay, and ( the fluff )